You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize