I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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