i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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