Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
