brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
