apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
