maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize