Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
