I got chris browned last night
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
