i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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