I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
