Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
