No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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