I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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