worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
