Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
