dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
