Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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