Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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