No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize