roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
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