Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
