Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
