If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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