you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize