i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
