ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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