I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
