Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
