She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
wow bdsm is so cute
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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