No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
