Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
