my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
