We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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