We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize