Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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