I cockslap morals
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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