He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize