This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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