From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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