If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
