At least make sure they are 18
Why
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize