I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
