Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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