im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
