what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Randomize
