before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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