I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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