its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
