getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
