i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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