butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i dont even know how to be here
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
