I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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