It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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