id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
These tits shall not be calmed
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
