That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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