Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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