She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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